WHY Y2K?

Y2K was such a bummer. The logic was that when the year 1999 turned into 2000 it would possibly confuse some computers who use only two digits to describe the year. When these computers changed from 99 to 00, they might not fully understand that 00 means 2000, not I guess 00 A.D. As harmless as this sounds, the world raced to Y2K-Proof all the computers they could. But there just wasn’t enough time! Here I was thinking that we were going to have this kick-ass meltdown with everything going haywire and people roaming the streets in fashionable gangs like in THE WARRIORS. But instead we got absolutely nothing. I didn’t even need to bring my home computer to the store or anything. That shit didn’t affect me at all, and that made me sad. Why weren’t we good enough for Y2K? Why couldn’t it throw our society into chaos? Was it seeing other societies and if so did they go all the way? If they did, I would like to see what happened because around here everyone on TV seemed to think Y2K was a pretty scary thing. The news reported Y2K as this potential electronic meltdown of (and I know it seems hard to believe now) doomsday proportions. Remember when we saw the millennium breach the first time zones near Fiji? CNN reported each hour as each time zone crossed the 2000 year mark. We were entranced by the amazing fact that nothing happened at all. There wasn’t even a bank robbery! Ok, nationally there were probably a couple, but what I’m saying is Y2K was like a girl everyone says is totally easy who won’t even kiss you. NOT EVEN ON THE CHEEK! Y2K, you fucking prude! I took you out to dinner. I introduced you to my parents. Jesus Christ. What do you want from me? I can’t keep living this lie. This is over. And you know what? I was sleeping with Bird Flu.